Wise Choices

John and I have gone back and forth and back and forth as to whether we are "done" having kids. We had always said we'd like five, and, well, we are at four.
At the time of my C-section, we decided against having a tubal ligation, feeling that there were just too many other stressors in our life at the time. The look on the assistant doctor's face when I told him... "So, you WANT to have more kids?", he said to me. "Well, no, not necessarily. We're just not ready to make a permanent decision right now."
See, we were told from almost the day we found out Rachel had Spina Bifida (actually, it WAS the day we found out) that we could still have more kids with only about a 4% chance of another case of SB. At the time, we just wanted to get through this situation.
We have thought and discussed and prayed about it, and I think we've decided, "we're done!".
First of all, no matter how I try to fool myself, I am getting older and each pregnancy is getting harder and harder. I have a regular standing appointment with my chiropractor every 4 to 6 weeks for a bad hip, and pregnancy does nothing to help that. Besides that fact that with each pregnancy, there are others running around that I can't keep up with.
Secondly, both John and I were scared to death by the doctor before he took me in to have my 4th C-section. I had to sign all kinds of consents and were told ALL of the risk factors with a repeat C. The risk of me bleeding out, needing a hysterectomy, a blood transfusion or dying were much higher. Yah, I don't need that kind of stress in my life. Also, while lying there on the operating table, having the doctor tell you that now he needed to "put your uterus and bladder back inside of you..." 'Nough said.
Thirdly, though everything turned out so much better than we could have ever imagined with Rachel, I am going to be honest with you, a HUGE part of me is afraid to risk it again. I don't think I could go through that kind of situation again. I would go to every sonogram and doctor's appointment with fear.
Fourthly, the OCD in me is very happy with the little pattern we have going: boy, girl, boy, girl.
And lastly, we'd have to get a new vehicle to fit us all and redo something about our house and the sleeping arrangements. I know, you may think that this is a shallow and insignificant reason to not have another child, but I told you, I am being honest here and it is part of the equation.

John and I did a Bible Study called "The Best Question Ever". In it, Andy Stanley says that the question to ask isn't "Is it good or bad, right verses wrong?" but the question to ask is "Is it WISE?" Since that study, we have tried to apply that question to the entirety of our lives. And, based on that question, the wise thing for us to do is to be content and complete with our family of six! (of course, you never know what God may have in store around the corner!)