Unless you have faced a similar situation (which unfortunately, I know, too many of you have), you cannot even to begin to understand the gut-wrentching, horrific, physical pain associated with that. Because it was such a traumatic time in our life, I try not to remember and mark it. Even though our situation turned out completely the opposite and I have reason to only have joy, even remembering that time brings back all the physical pain.
From that Monday until our appointment with the specialist Wednesday morning, I tried to focus my mind on the one fact that held me together: one of my four children would be with Jesus, secure in Heaven forever. I was lead to a song, "Glory Baby" by Watermark. I have put that as the first song on my playlist on this page. I warn you: it is a very difficult song to listen to, and please feel free to turn it off. But in those three days, I listened to this song over and over and over and over and over and wept and wept and wept and wept. As the lyrics say, "Let sweet Jesus hold you till Mom and Dad can hold you. You'll just have Heaven before we do."
Three days later, on the Wednesday following Thanksgiving, we went to a specialist in Pittsburgh, fully expecting him to encourage us to terminate, even that day. But instead, we got the greatest gift and surprise of our life: Rachel would live. And because of that, because *we* recognize God's proximity and intervention throughout the entire time, when Rachel was born **ALIVE** on a Tuesday morning, April 15th (yes, tax day), we named her Rachel Elianna. The name Elianna means "God has answered my prayer".
Interestingly enough, the same artists that sang the song I wept over, also wrote a song called "Elianna", the second song on my playlist. As those lyrics say, "The tenderness of God is twirling around in our living room tonight."
As I remember two years ago and the extremes of emotions, these two songs mark the beginning and, well, the other beginning of that time. All I have to say now is "GLORY TO GOD!!!!!"
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