The Stuff True Love Is Made Of...

Yesterday I came across my first crush on the Internet. Ok, it was on Facebook. I know a lot of people have gotten themselves into trouble through the Internet, but let me tell my story.

When I was in 4th grade, I was IN LOVE with a kid named Chris. He was SO CUTE, but more than that, he was nice. It was a crush. Fast forward 30 (give or take) years...

A friend had him as a friend on Facebook. I looked at his (locked) profile and all I could see was his picture. He is still just as adorable as ever. Can you really call an almost-40-year-old "adorable"? Well, if you can, Chris fits the description.

When I saw his picture, all those 4th grade butterflies came back. "Oh, he's so dreamy!"

I logged off the computer and went right upstairs. The first thing I did, was tell my husband...EVERYTHING. I don't have plans to cheat or leave my husband, but it always starts with a little something left out. So, I always make it a point to have full disclosure with John when I see and old boyfriend or have a dream about someone...just to be SAFE.

Here's the point:

As I was going to sleep, I started to think about Chris, and believe me, all I have to go on is a picture. I have no idea where he is, what he does, if he has kids, if he is a believer, if he beats his wife. But as I was going to sleep, I was wondering these things, and found it VERY easy to imagine him happy, in a great job, and still just as nice a guy as he was in 4th grade.

I started thinking that it would be very easy to walk away from my life and step into his.

But here's the thing, Chris hasn't seen me and my bed head, or when I've not showered in days, or when I am *super* cranky. He wasn't there and held my hand as my daughter went through surgery. He didn't hold me as I wept when I found out my daughter's feet don't work. He doesn't really have a history with me. He doesn't know me, and I don't know him.

This past Valentines Day, I was up at 3am cleaning up puke. Guess who was right beside me cleaning up the puke? Not Chris. It was my husband, John.

Yes, this life I have is full of a lot of stress and strain, but it's the life I have, the life I have **CHOSEN** to walk...with John.

Cleaning up puke at 3 am is not glamorous, but it is the stuff true love is made of.