New

It's a new year, a new decade, a new day...so many unspoken possibilities...

I think about what my life was like a decade ago. I was a single, lonely girl with no husband-prospects, thinking I was destined to live my life alone when all I really wanted was a husband and children.

Here I am ten years later with my cup so full, it splashes over. This has been the BEST decade of my life. Period. Spina Bifida and all. There have been some things that have knocked the wind out of me, sending me to my knees but nothing that has felled me.

Why? you may ask? You were given some horrible news this past decade, things people never should hear. You are still dealing with the aftermath of that disaster and, unfortunately, will be for the rest of this earthly life...and your daughter will too...

(Here's my response...)

Therefor, we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary trouble (yes, even Spina Bifida!) is achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So, we fix our eyes, not on what is seen but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (II Cor 4:16-18)

Life stinks, for all of us...I am not ignorant of that fact.

BUT, I also am very cognizant of the fact that there is a God who passionately loves me.

I find that I get the most depressed about Rachel's condition when I start thinking about it, when I focus on how tired I am, how much works it is for her, how far behind she is, how much my back aches when carrying her...when I focus on all that, I am overwhelmed.

But when I fix my eyes on Jesus, and think that we all CAN endure this for a little while, and I think about all she will be able to do in Heaven, I can go on, and yes, I may even have some joy.

**By the way, I am convinced that God has the biggest and the best playground reserved in Heaven for kids like my daughter, kids who are never going to fully use the playgrounds here on earth. Heaven's playground has the tallest slide, that reaches waaaayyyyy up into the sky, and the longest monkey bars...

My hope is in the fact that *this* is not as good as it gets, that there is a God who walks with us here and gives us hope for tomorrow through the person of Jesus Christ....

See, we forget one of God's specialties...He makes it all new!!!!